getting deep

Nothing get's me fired up like reading comments on articles by people who are fully and completely…. well, dumb. Or rather, so ignorant they sound like complete heartless idiots.

I'd like to suggest a few things to the person who posted the following comment in regards to an article about GMO foods. (And add: Does it make you nervous that most of Western Europe has banned them? It should.)

S/he took 'it' to a whole new level. I have not edited it in any way, just left it in its ridiculous original state. The grammar alone makes me cringe:

"Has any of the hysterical crises of the Leftists ever come true For example there is; Nuclear Winter, Global Cooling, Global Warming, Heterosexual AIDS outbreaks, population bomb, food shortages, clean water shortages, Acid Rain, Brazilian deforestation, America 2 feet deep in disposable diapers. And those are what I can think of in the first 30 seconds. You know you are facing another made-up crisis when the only solution the Left can think of for fixing the crisis is more government, more income redistribution, less freedom and protests with large paper mache puppets."

It rankles! And my reply which I would have loved to share with the person, but didn't because does it change anything? Probably not.

First: Just because you have access to fresh water and food doesn't mean millions (yes, millions) of people in the world are living without. Step across our Southern border, or try getting on a plane sometime and you'll find that there are more people living without clean water and plentiful food than there are people WITH. Even better, head over to the other side of your pretty town where it's not so pretty.

Second: AIDS is still a huge problem, and mainly in the heterosexual communities of the world, particularly on the continent of Africa. Infection is rising at an alarming rate. Just because we managed to create awareness in the US and helped to avoid a longer-term epidemic doesn't erase the fact that it exists elsewhere.

Third and final: Deforestation is still a major problem all over the world and especially where there have been "population bombs".

If you've been lucky enough to live untouched by poverty, hunger, disease, or any awareness that these things exist outside of your tiny bubble… It breaks my heart a little because you have no compassion for the many souls whose lives are affected by these things every day.

Pause rant. Breathe.

It's true though: We don't live in 2 feet of disposable diapers. Not right here, but head down to your local waste disposal site and you'll find them. And it's more than two feet deep.

photo: City Clerk, Seattle 1954

soaking it up

We're expecting our first tiny human in June and I know I can't begin to fathom what that love will feel like, what that little sleep will feel like, and of course I struggle with the fear "What kind of mother will I be?"

I know I've got the love, but what about the patience and the survival instinct to live through the exhaustion? I'm no spring chicken (I'm no chicken at all). I'm not exactly ancient, but I'm not 22 when I used to sleep only a couple of hours a night and still have a productive day.

It's easy to get overwhelmed. By reading options, by the future, by life. Even by the Pup who suddenly needs a whole lot of attention (or the same amount as last week but it feeeeeels like so much more).
I have been reading everything I can get my hands on, and most of it has nothing in common with anything else. But I'm trying to soak it all up, absorb knowledge through every pore.

I jump from page to page, the internet spreading out before me offering information on every possible subject. I have found myself pondering computer-generated photos of tiny animals in the womb, an Iraqi orphan curled up on a chalk outline of her mother (I am skeptical that she drew it herself, but it's awfully sweet), a friend's blog with beautiful photos of life with new baby and a two year old. And then I realize all of my random web surfing all does sort of relate. Tinies in one form or another; new to the world, new to us. There's so much to learn! So much to read!

I think it's a bit like trying to take in the whole picture instead of focusing on the little moments that make up a day. I am reading a book called Momma Zen, and I have decided I would like to view things like the author does: Don't have expectations. Or if you do, know that anything and everything can change and you have to roll with that, too. And it is exactly how it should be.

In the last few days I have felt something in there - little movements that I have to focus on to feel and even then they are elusive. We heard a heartbeat on the doppler, we saw a little being on the ultrasound. This is happening.

It's not as we expected (much sooner, much easier) but it's been perfect in it's surprising little way. Excitement, nervousness, wonder, and a sort of foggy bliss that we ride in waves. So much to prepare. So much to be thankful for. And so much to love.



photo courtesy of houseandleisure.co.za