the waiting

Oh, the waiting.

I've been trained to act like I'm patient, but secretly (or perhaps not secretly at all) I am not. Especially when it's something really really exciting like chocolate, or date night, or buying a house. And this is where the waiting becomes almost unbearable and I walk around dancing a little bit trying to shake out the anticipation.

We started looking recently, and weren't exactly in any kind of rush. But then we met with a contractor. And an agent. And a mortgage guy. And then we put the estimate together (it includes a total renovation from the ground up). And then we put in the offer.

And now we wait.

When it comes down to it, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this sort of thing. The excitement mixed with stress and planning and all of the possibilities of a future life in this one-day-will-be-pretty house scribble all over my brain and make me a little bit of a nutcase. I wake up in the middle of the night planning out the garden and thinking about adding a tiny window to that one Southeast wall for morning light.

eeeeeep!

I have been crossing my fingers but trying to remind myself that if it doesn't happen there is something better out there. I hope I will remember that if/when they come back and say, "Sorry we sold it to someone else" I won't curse them. And then cry.

photo courtesy of trendir.com